From Chaos to Clarity: The Revolutionary Power of Being Alone

Why taking time for yourself is the ultimate rebellion against modern life.

When I was 17, my best friend Clark Stinson and I hauled two 12-foot tepees and a hundred pounds of dried food a 3-day walk deep into the Chippewa National Forest in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, setting them up on opposite sides of a small lake. We brought a few books on spirituality and spent three months mostly meditating; three days of each week we practiced total silence, writing to each other on slates with chalk. I wrote about it in my autobiography The Prophet’s Way: it was one of the most liberating and enlightening experiences of my life.

Here’s something that might surprise you: some of the world’s most brilliant minds — from Bill Gates to Georgia O’Keeffe — have one fascinating habit in common. Like Clark and me, they deliberately spend time alone. Not because they’re antisocial, but because they’ve discovered something powerful about solitude that most of us have forgotten in our hyperconnected world.

Let’s get something straight right away: being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. While our Surgeon General has warned about the dangers of loneliness in America (comparing it to smoking in terms of health risks), choosing to spend time alone might be one of the most powerful tools we have for mental health and creativity.

Think about it this way: your brain is like a computer that’s constantly running multiple programs — social interactions, work tasks, family responsibilities, and the endless ping of notifications. When do you ever give it a chance to close all those programs and reboot?

That’s where solitude comes in. It’s like hitting the refresh button on your mental browser when it’s got too many tabs open.

But here’s the crucial part that changes everything: it has to be your choice. Forced isolation (like being stuck at home with an injury) isn’t the same as choosing to spend a Saturday afternoon hiking alone or deciding to take a solitary lunch break to recharge. The power lies in the choice.

Recent science is backing up what philosophers and artists have known for centuries. When researchers studied people’s emotional states, they found something fascinating: time alone helps us process strong emotions in a way that being with others simply can’t match. It’s like having an emotional clearing house, where we can sort through our feelings without the pressure of managing someone else’s reactions too.

And creativity? That’s where solitude really shines. When you’re alone, your mind is free to wander down unexplored paths without anyone else’s expectations or judgments getting in the way. It’s no wonder studies have found that people who choose solitude tend to be more creative.

But here’s the million-dollar question: how much alone time do we need? Well, that’s like asking how much coffee someone needs — it’s deeply personal. Some people thrive on substantial doses of solitude, while others need just a little to feel refreshed. The key is finding your own sweet spot.

Interestingly, age plays a role too. If you’re in your twenties and find solitude challenging, you’re not alone — research shows younger adults often struggle with being alone. But here’s the good news: like a fine wine, our appreciation for solitude tends to improve with age. By the time people reach their senior years, many have discovered the peaceful joy of chosen alone time.

Want to make the most of your solitude? Here’s what works:

First, treat it like a date with yourself — plan something specific rather than just drifting aimlessly. Maybe it’s that book you’ve been meaning to read, or finally trying that watercolor set gathering dust in your drawer.

Second, choose calming activities. Research shows that gentle, mindful activities like gardening, walking, or reading work best. Think of it as giving your brain a spa day rather than taking it to a rock concert.

And perhaps most importantly — put down your phone. Social media during solitude is like trying to meditate at a party — it defeats the purpose. Give yourself permission to truly disconnect.

Remember, you’re not being antisocial by seeking solitude — you’re following in the footsteps of some of humanity’s greatest thinkers and creators. In our world of constant connection, choosing to be alone might just be one of the most powerful decisions you can make for your mental health and creativity.

So the next time someone asks why you’re spending time alone, you can tell them you’re not just taking a break — you’re giving your brain the gift it needs most: the freedom to simply be.